February 6, 2008...2:39 pm
Auditions Are On The Way- January 13th
Allow me to backdate and update from my diary :
Audition day is almost here and I am sweaty palmed with anticipation. Auditions make me power crazed and tunnel visioned. I fantasize about sitting in a red velvet seat, possibly a throne, and bellowing “NEXT!”through a megaphone’. I long to say the words, ‘Don’t call us…’ I get sordidly excited about being in the rare position of being able to reject. A writer being involved in a rejection process and yet not on the receiving end of it, oh sweet, sweet, rare bliss.
Thankfully my base instincts and ‘rejection projection’ (I might copyright that phrase) are to be reigned in and monitored by my wonderful, calm, positive and life affirming director Psyche Stott, who radiates every value and professional ethic I lack. Therefore I will not be allowed to insist on the rejection or hiring of people based on the following criteria: shoes/attractiveness/aftershave/friendship/handshake/ that they snubbed me in 2002/facial hair/ability to tell me how great I am as a writer (note to actors: this NEVER hurts) .
I will behave, I will be controlled. I will try not to babble, distract, annoy, leer, day dream or take a trip out to tangents so ‘off’ they are not as yet imagined. I will most likely fail on all accounts. Thankfully for all, casting is the director’s job.
Let the auditions commence!
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